Welcome. I’m Lisa Maria, and I believe that …
- Love, creative inspiration and money don’t have to be a struggle to get or keep.
- They can be a natural, never-ending flow that comes to us from God when we ask.
- By honestly expressing our desires and radically opening our hearts to receive them, we position ourselves for abundant provision beyond our wildest dreams.
I’m an Christian writer, artist, ashtanga yogi, enthusiastic vegan and “accidental expat” from the U.S., now living in the Middle East.
I also actively exercise my prophetic gift by speaking God’s words wherever I go.
Most of all, I am a woman who found God’s FLOW of provision, right in the middle of her own personal desert.
I had been a Christian most of my life, but it wasn’t until after an unexpected divorce that I heard God’s voice for the first time and began to learn how to follow Him step by step.
In July of 2016, amid the aftermath of this huge life change, I had what I now describe as a “six day heart attack” (really more like an energy surge in my spirit).
At the end of it, I was face down on a rug, bathed in sweat, unable to eat, drink or sleep. I was begging God to end it all.
Instead, He spoke to me deep in my spirit, for the first time. It wasn’t an audible voice, but the words were clear and undeniable:
“You do not know how to receive love.”
Instantly I recognized this was a true statement, it was from God, and it was also the root cause of both my divorce and of the lifetime of emotional pain I had secretly endured.
That day, I agreed with God regarding this statement, and asked Him to put me in “The School of Love.” As soon as I did, the heart symptoms abruptly disappeared.
Almost immediately after that, the most intense period of God-directed teaching began in my life. There is no other way to account for what I experienced in those years, except to say, “God brought it, and it was my school.”
Around this same time, a believing woman came into my life who had a strong prophetic gift and recognized the characteristics of a prophet in my life also. She mentored me in my new calling.
As part of this journey into healing and destiny, I eventually followed God’s instruction to me to release everything I owned and reboot my entire life by wandering the world for a year.
Six countries and 20,000 miles later, I crash-landed in Dubai in August 2018 with one suitcase and a small envelope of money–which was everything I had left in the world.
Since then, I have been discovering the amazing new life in the Arabian Desert that God was preparing for me (and me for) all along.
During my transient wilderness season, I had Nothing. Literally.
God was my protective Husband, my artistic Muse and yes, even my ATM for weekly groceries. I had to learn to radically receive His love everywhere I turned–even from the hands of total strangers.
Before, I had been looking for love, inspiration and money in all the wrong places. It took a divorce, destitution and a micro-budget world tour for me to finally realize … in God, I already had access to more of Everything than I could ever ask for, if only I would receive it.
Because my heart had been so crowded with old disappointments, hurts and wounds, I had literally been blocking the river of abundance God wanted to send me.
I wasn’t waiting on Him to provide more. He was waiting for me to recognize that, no matter which desert I appear to be wandering, there is always … always … a fountain.
Once I began to open my heart to receive healing, God began to supply in ever more radical ways, far beyond what I actually needed or asked for.
Today, even though I am an ordinary woman with an ordinary income who lives in one of the world’s most expensive cities, by God’s grace, I walk in a FLOW of total financial, emotional and creative freedom.
Though I blog mostly about this unfolding journey with endless provision, you’ll also find posts here on art and creativity, life in the Middle East, practicing yoga as a Christian and embracing the vegan lifestyle.
You’ll probably also see more photos of my Devon Rex cat, Sima, than you ever wanted to. Sorry-not-sorry!
Reach out to me anytime here or read more about my story, below.
This is what GOD says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves …
“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.”
– Isaiah 43:16, 18-20 (MSG)
Welcome, Thirsty Heart. You’re close to the water now.
You’ve got big dreams: you know you’re meant to inspire others, help them and even speak or write on topics that lift others up. Yet you have pervasive stage fright or always find yourself taking roles that put you in the background and your voice on silent mode. You’re creative, but your artistic or crafty projects always seem to end up a hot mess of uncertainty, insecurity and abandonment. You’ve got an urge to nurture, but motherhood has brought you unbelievable levels of physical or emotional pain—or you’re dealing with infertility or intimacy issues that have prevent you from being a mother at all.
If this is you, chances are, that part of your life feels like a desert: a hot, parched patch of your soul that’s full of scorched trees and gaping fissures of rock. There’s not a green shoot in sight, let alone a garden. You wonder if it’s even possible for that part of your life to become a lush and verdant—a source of life, instead of a valley where your dreams always go to die.
If that describes you, then you’ve come to the right place. I am intimately acquainted with the wilderness areas of life—and I’ve walked through more than a few of my own.
First, I want you to know that God is FOR you. He gave you dreams and desires because He intends to fulfill them. The fact that you’re struggling in any of these areas isn’t a cruel cosmic trick. It’s His most loving, attention-getting way of calling you to draw closer to Him so He can work a miracle on your behalf.
This blog is for women of vision. Women who know they’re meant for more. You work so hard just to make tiny bits of progress toward your dream life, but every idea you give birth to somehow withers and dies before you ever see it come to fruition.
Perhaps you have beautiful children around you, but are starved for time and resources to pursue the gifts and passions God has given you. Or perhaps children are one of those very visions you’re on the brink of burying for good.
To you, dear woman, no matter what you situation, I have only one message:
God is a God of resurrection.
What seems dead, He can revive.
The hard, parched soil of your dreams might never have yielded even one single green shoot, but that doesn’t matter.
The God Who parted the Red Sea, sent food from Heaven and gave His Son for your redemption is well capable of flooding your life with enough grace to turn that desert into an oasis. Instantly. He promised the Children of Israel this centuries ago, and He delivered. I believe that promise, and His ability to uphold it, are still true today for you and me.
I don’t just believe it, in fact. I know it, because I have seen it with my own eyes.
I know what it’s like to be a barren woman. Barren physically, yes. But also barren emotionally and spiritually. On the outside I had a beautiful life and people thought I was very successful. But inside, I knew that the dearest dreams of my heart weren’t even close to manifesting in real life.
Oh, I’d burn the midnight oil, toil and sweat, and celebrate every inch of ground I gained. But once I’d reached a certain point, I’d look around and realize how far I really had to go.
I wanted to be a mother, but I had a clinical sexual dysfunction that prevented me from enjoying intimacy and getting pregnant. I wanted to be an artist, but I constantly doubted the thousands of pages of creative work that I wrote. I wanted to inspire others and help them achieve their dreams, but I couldn’t stay focused on my own for more than five minutes at a time without getting sidetracked. I wanted to build a business that created abundance for many other women besides myself, but I couldn’t overcome my constant fear, stress and aversion around money.
More often than not, my hard work would evaporate into thin air, leaving me further behind on achieving my dreams than I was before I’d made all that effort. Broken dreams. Broken careers. Broken relationships. Broken businesses. Abandoned hobbies. Half-finished projects. Doubt. Fear. Lack of confidence. Self-sabotage.
Though I may have looked like I had it all together with a good job, a good marriage, a home and (eventually) my own business, inside I was one hot mess.
Then in 2016, I found out I was getting divorced from my college sweetheart—and with this unexpected plot twist, my whole story as I’d been writing it totally fell apart. I thought my desert couldn’t get drier … until it did. I ended up selling or giving away all my belongings and traveling across three continents with no home, no family, no money and literally no idea what would happen next from day to day. It was my worst nightmare come true and brought all my worst fears to life.
But it was also my salvation.
In this driest of wilderness seasons in an already-barren life, God reached down and met me there. Like the woman at the well, I came to draw normal water, but God Himself was at the well, ready to give me Living Water.
As I unpacked the lifetime of hurt and pain that had culminated in the big rejection of my divorce, I began to see that the love, creativity and abundance I was seeking so desperately for was much closer than I thought.
But first, I had to come face-to-face with how closed off my heart really was. I thought I was an open and loving person. But when it came right down to it, I had closed off large parts of my heart because of the pain I’d experienced in my life. And when I shut those parts of my heart, one by one, I had shut down a part of the channel open for God’s flow.
No wonder I had had struggled to feel loved, receive love from others, express myself creatively and make any financial progress.
Receptivity is the one and only quality God requires of us to have everything He wants to give.
I wanted to feel that never-ending flow coursing through me with rock-solid assurance the flow would never dry up or run out. But the channel of my spirit was so clogged with trauma, pain, anger and old wounds that I could barely receive a drop.
What I wanted from God, He could not give until I let Him clean and heal my heart completely.
This realization led to another one. The desert I felt and saw all around me wasn’t really outside at all. It was inside me. And so was the life-giving, thirst-quenching flow I was so desperately seeking. Love, freedom and abundance were inheritance I already had in Jesus that I hadn’t claimed yet.
When I realized who I was and what God actually had in store for me, I began to change my thinking and my behavior.
I asked God to reveal to me all the pent-up sadness, wounds and pain unaddressed over the course of my lifetime—and He graciously answered my prayer. It wasn’t easy to face all of that, but piece by piece, tear by tear, prayer by prayer, old things dislodged from my soul and floated away in a fresh river of His grace.
One by one, the physical manifestations of my barrenness and pain literally evaporated as I allowed God to handle the emotional healing.
Victories during that season included:
- Successfully completing physical therapy for my sexual dysfunction–giving me total peace and freedom that I can fully enjoy marriage and childbearing in the future, if God blesses me with the opportunity.
- Freedom from emotional eating, bingeing, cravings and associated weight gain.
- Transformation of my mental state from primarily negative and anxious to primarily positive and hope-filled.
- Complete disappearance of digestive gastric disorders which are commonly aggravated by anxiety in women.
- Finally kicking my “depression habit” for good.
- Actually making progress toward my biggest dreams and goals without any stress and self-loathing.
- Reawakening my creative gifts and engaging them with joy … without my Inner Perfectionist getting in the way.
- Freedom in the area of money–ability to allocate, enjoy and share the resources God sends me without fearing poverty or loss. (Even when my bank account is empty at the end of the month!)
- Feeling truly loved, abundant and worthy on a daily basis … because God says I am … regardless of whether or not I have family, friends or a man in my life who are speaking positively over me.
- Tossing my over-achiever to-do lists (mmmm …. burning them is more like it ….) in favor of taking step-by-step, God-inspired actions.
- Getting clear on my life purpose and calling, and finally having the focus and commitment to myself enough to step into them.
- Dancing in the kitchen, singing in the shower, doing yoga with my cat and hugging random strangers … just because it feels good.
- Complete liberation from the addiction to “control” my life to turn out “a certain way…” because I have total rest in my Abba Father God, who is guiding me.
As a result of all this, my emotional state up-shifted to one of peace and joy. And my external reality soon began to reflect the change within.
In 2018, I found myself crash-landing in a real desert—the Arabian Desert (Dubai, United Arab Emirates, more specifically.)
Coming to the United Arab Emirates was never on my life plan, yet it was the beginning of a new wave of love, creativity and physical abundance that represented what I had already come to accept deep in my spirit.
Dubai literally IS a man made oasis. Here, I get to see first-hand what it’s like when fountains are tapped in the middle of the most barren of bare grounds.
In Dubai, God has begun to repay me for all that I lost.
For the first time, I began to take steps toward my dreams that actually felt like forward momentum rather than another failed attempt. One of the first weeks at my new church, a prophet spoke a word that I would become a fountain myself, with Living Water flowing out of me to quench the thirst of many others around me.
And that’s when I realized: the endless flow of God’s love, freedom and abundance is never something we have to find—as if it’s somehow lost! It’s something we open ourselves to, because when He’s within us, the fountain is already there, just waiting to be tapped.
You see, the desert you’ve been living in for a very long time isn’t an obstacle between you and your dreams.
It’s actually a landscape for your miracle: the very ground upon which God wants to plant your garden and flourish you, rooting you so deep in the well of His love, joy, peace, creativity, grace and yes, abundance, that you will never thirst again.
Just as the Isaiah scripture says, we can spend our time looking back on the “old things,” still caught up in old traumas, old wounds and old loss. Or we can ask the God of Heaven to clear all that out of us, for good, so that we can be a channel that’s totally open to receive the river He wants to flow through the sun-baked earth of our lives.
When the flow breaks through at last, you can be assured it will gush with such power and speed that it can never get stopped up again.
This blog is my story, and my opportunity to share the flow I’ve been given with you. I pray it will inspire you to drink long and deep from His grace—and there find that your dreams and desires, once parched and dead, are revived to grow up greener than ever.
May the seeds you’ve planted in tears surprise you by blooming with different flowers than you expected. I promise, you’ll be delighted with what you receive.
Everything we need truly is found in God. If it takes the Wilderness to make us thirsty enough for the water that we truly seek it, then the barren places and seasons of life just might be the most beautiful gift we ever receive.
The well is here, thirsty heart.
Drink, and be filled.
Sola Deo Gloria.
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